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HOMILIES
THE HOLY
GNOSIS OF THOMAS CHAPEL
SALT LAKE CITY, UTAH
Available here are archives of written homilies from The Path of Gnosis and audio homilies recorded from previous services in mp3 format. Written or given by the Rev. Troy Pierce. Contact Rev. Troy (
) for further information.
(All opinions expressed are solely those of the author.)
GnosCast-Reflections: homilies delivered, then delivered to you...
GnosCast-Reflections: Homilies delivered by the Rev. Troy Pierce in the Holy Gnosis of Thomas Chapel.
GnosCast-Reflections on iTunesYou may also wish to consider:
GnosCast: The Gnostic Podcast - GnosCast on iTunes
GnosCast-Meditations: The audio readings from the Lectionary of the Ecclesia Gnostica.
GnosCast-Meditations on iTunes
GnosCast-Reflections: Gnostic Audio Homily Archive
More than Eighty Homilies, More than 24 Hours of Content, over More than Two Years
Epiphany - History of Epiphany and finding our way to Divine Guidance
10 Jan 2010
29:53
The Day of the Holy Francis of Assisi - A Universal Saint
07 Oct 2007
34:12The Day of the Holy Archangel Michael (Michaelmas) - Wielder of a Spiritual Sword & Defender
30 Sep 2007
25:32Sep 23 - No Service
The Fifteenth Sunday after Trinity - Brotherly love, Kindness, Kinship, & our Connection to the Divine
16 Sep 2007
25:14MH Sophia Sevice in September - Dedicated to Wisdom in Word & Deed
12 Sep 2007
20:56The Descent of the Holy Sophia - The Story of the Descent as the Story of God & as our Story, and Reflections on the Mystery of Baptism
9 Sep 2007
33:53The Thirteenth Sunday after Trinity - Virtue as a Process of Becoming
2 Sep 2007
27:31The Twelfth Sunday after Trinity - The Mysteries as Metaphor for the Mystery of Christ
26 Aug 2007
25:28The Assumption of the Holy Sophia & Fifth Anniversary - Reflections on Sophia, Wisdom, and the Mysteries of Transcendence
19 Aug 2007
28:09The Tenth Sunday after Trinity - Devotion over Duty
12 Aug 2007
17:57The Transfiguration - Transparent to Transcendence
5 Aug 2007
15:41The Eighth Sunday after Trinity - History & Nature of Wisdom
7-29 Jul 2007
26:33The Day of the Holy Mary Magdalene - Approaches to the Apostle to the Apostles
22 July 2007
23:43The Sixth Sunday after Trinity - Steadfast Dedication on Your Path
15 July 2007
25:48The Fifth Sunday after Trinity - Finding Peace in a world of war
8 July 2007
22:43The Fourth Sunday after Trinity - God as Love & Love as the experience of God
No Services in June
1 July 2007
15:59The Ascension - Ascension & Transcendence
20 May 2007
21:58The Fifth Sunday After Easter - Human & Divine Realizing the Potential for Liberation
13 May 2007
19:55The Fourth Sunday After Easter - Divine Aid for Liberation & Human Reception of that Aid
6 May 2007
30:28The Third Sunday After Easter - Divine Protection from loss of Self
29 April 2007
19:16The Day of the Holy Prophet Mani -
Mani & the Treasure of the Cosmos
25 April 2007
15:19The Second Sunday After Easter - Sharing the Mysteries & Remittance
22 April 2007
21:29Low Sunday - Transformative Wealth of Spirit
15 April 2007
17:12Easter - The Inner Resurrection of the Living Christ
8 April 2007
16:20Holy Saturday - Elements of Initiation
7 April 2007
14:22Good Friday - Dancing through the paradox to the Center
6 April 2007
11:39Maundy Thursday - Story & Experience of the Eucharist
5 April 2007
15:01Palm Sunday - Entering Jerusalem & the Story
1 April 2007
15:30The Fifth Sunday in Lent - The Center of the Cross
24 March 2007
12:58The Fourth Sunday in Lent - Spiritual Refreshment
18 March 2007
15:13No Services March 4 & 11
The First Sunday in Lent - Self Examination
25 Feb 2007
17:22Ash Wednesday - Purification as Process
21 Feb 2007
16:15Quinquagesima - Love as Meaning
18 Feb 2007
20:21Sexagesima - Sanctification & Renewal
11 Feb 2007
24:30Candlemas - Kindling a Light in the Darkness
4 Feb 2007
29:39Jan 28 - No Service Due to Illness
Third Sunday After the Epiphany - Sincerity vs. Sincere Ignorance
21 Jan 2007
25:49Requiem Service - Requiem in Pace Amita, (Second Sunday after the Epiphany)
14 Jan 2007
18:28Sunday After the Epiphany - The Stories of Epiphany & Divine Guidance
7 Jan 2007
27:26New Years Eve - Renewal of Life, Meaning, & the New Year
31 Dec 2006
30:09Christmas Day - Incarnation of the Redeemer
25 Dec 2006
20:11The Fourth Sunday of Advent - Nature of the Redeemer
24 Dec 2006
20:00The Third Sunday of Advent - Recognition of the Messenger
17 Dec 2006
21:30The Second Sunday of Advent - Seeking God Within
10 Dec 2006
19:49Advent Sunday - Seeking the Light
3 Dec 2006
18:38Nov - No Services Due to Illness
All Souls Day - Requiem Eucharist
2 Nov 2006
16:17The Sunday before All Saints Day - Saints
29 Oct 2006
20:19The Nineteenth Sunday After Trinity - Revelation, Messengers of Light, & The Good Shepard
22 Oct 2006
24:3815 Oct - No Service Due to Illness
Vespers Service for the Templar Martyrs - The Templars & Our Stand
12 Oct 2006
15:158 Oct - No Service Due to Illness
Michelmass - Sunday After the Day of the Holy Archangel Michael, The Sword of Truth
01 Oct 2006
20:12The Fifteenth Sunday After Trinity - Brotherly Love, Brothers in Arms
24 Sep 2006
22:12The Fourteenth Sunday After Trinity - The Fire of the Logos & the Bridal Chamber
17 Sep 2006
21:16The Descent of the Holy Sophia - Wisdom: In story & In Life
17 Sep 2006
19:23The Twelfth Sunday After Trinity - The Mystery of Christ: Stories of The Historical Jesus & The Living Christ
03 Sep 2006
18:31The Eleventh Sunday After Trinity - Discernment
27 Aug 2006
19:42The Tenth Sunday After Trinity - Devotion
20 Aug 2006
15:48The Assumption of the Most Holy Sophia - Feminine God-images, Wisdom, & Consciousness
12 Aug 2006
23:17August Sophia Service - Final Chapters
9 Aug 2006
14:31The Transfiguration of the Lord - Transparency & Relationship
07 Aug 2006
26:26The Seventh Sunday After Trinity - The Nature of Purity
30 Jul 2006
26:26The Day of the Holy Mary Magdalene - The First & Foremost of the Apostles
23 Jul 2006
26:18The Fifth Sunday After Trinity - Peace that Passeth Understanding & God as Peace
16 Jul 2006
24:43July Sophia Service - Wisdom in Creation & Calling to the Light
12 Jul 2006
16:08The Fourth Sunday After Trinity - God as Love
9 Jul 2006 11:58:57
18:46The Third Sunday After Trinity - God as the Ruler of Angels, Messengers & Messages
02 Jul 2006
22:13The Second Sunday After Trinity - God as Light, Light as Consciousness
25 Jun 2006
31:23The Nativity of St John the Baptist - St. John & the Mandaeans
22 Jun 2006
21:50The Sunday After Corpus Christi - The Body of Christ, Form & Formation
18 Jun 2006
24:35June Sophia Service - Worship as Valuing the Divine
14 Jun 2006
11:32Trinity Sunday - The Trinity & God Images as Idols and Icons
11 Jun 2006
22:14Pentecost - the Coming of the Holy Spirit
04 Jun 2006
20:02The Sunday After the Ascension - Ascension & Apocalypses
28 May 2006
22:12The Fifth Sunday After Easter - Requiem & the Human Potential for Liberation
21 May 2006
20:13The Fourth Sunday After Easter - Divine Aid, Images of God & Mothering
15 May 2006
19:04The Third Sunday After Easter - Divine Protection
9 May 2006
18:02The Second Sunday After Easter - Divine Grace
30 Apr 2006
19:2623 Apr - No service due to illness.
Easter Homiliy
16 Apr 2006
16:54Holy Saturday Homily
15 April 2006
9:23Good Friday Homily
14 April 2006
6:26Maundy Thursday
13 April 2006
18:11
Palm Sunday
9 April 2006
14:47
Note: the following were Recorded on the equipment available, and so the sound quality is not the best.
The Fifth Sunday in Lent: Passion Sunday Recorded April 2nd 2006
Length 15:42
The Fourth Sunday in Lent: Refreshment Sunday Recorded March 26th 2006
Length 19:36
Montsegur Sunday & 3rd Sunday in Lent Recorded March 19th 2006
Length 16:38
The Second Sunday in Lent Recorded March 12th 2006
Length 24:13
The First Sunday in Lent Recorded March 5th 2006
Length 20:27
Quinquagesima Sunday Recorded February 26th 2006
Length 23:16
Sexagesima Sunday Recorded February 19th 2006
Length 24:59
Saturday, December 17, 2005
Fourth Sunday in Advent
Nature of the Redeemer
The heterodox view of redemption is to load it all onto one historical act, making it a fait accompli. They do not consider participating in redemption, only lining up for their part of it. This circumvention of the nature of redemption in our lives, removes it to an abstract theological realm. In the Gnostic tradition nothing is over and done with, nothing is merely historical; it must live through us, be done through us—or it hasn't truly been done. Just as you cannot have Gnosis of somebody else's Gnosis, you cannot be redeemed through someone else's redemption—not even our Lord's.
In our liturgy we speak of “The ever-coming and redeeming Logos.” This points to the Gnostic understanding of the Redeemer. Not someone who did something long ago, but an ever-present force for liberation. I sometimes speak of Gnosticism as the do-it-yourself religion; ultimately, no one can do your part for you. Yet, that doesn't mean that your's is the only part to play.
Within us all there is a Mystery, we often call it the Seed of Light. Who we think of ourselves as being, is the soil in which that seed is nurtured or lays dormant. Without our work, the seed cannot grow. However, that is not all that a seed needs, it can sprout, but will not grow further without sunlight. The Logos is associated with the Sun, which is why we celebrate the festival of the coming of the Logos in this season. For, one of the ways of seeing this time of year is that the old sun seems to grow weak, to grow old, and in the darkness of the year a new sun is born.
The Logos is the Sun that shines upon the tender sprouting Seed of Light within us, giving it that which we ourselves cannot provide: a greater illumination, a light transcending the world in which the seed grows, the necessary aid for redemption. Rich soil and divine light, both are necessary for the Mystery we bear within us to be brought to a greater life. That light shines in the world and through the world; this is the place of mixing, the Light is always here—no darkness can change that.
Let us diligently do our part, reaching towards that which reaches back toward us. Opening ourselves to that which nourishes us from above. Let the ever-coming Redeemer come to you, always. Let that Light shine on you, in you, and through you. And the divine Mystery, the Seed of Light, within you will grow—it will grow and, perhaps, come to bloom.
May the ever-coming and redeeming Logos be with you.
Wednesday, December 21, 2005
The Twin of the Lord
Holy Thomas
Apostle, Martyr, and Guide to GnosisToday is both the Winter Solstice and the Day of the Holy Thomas 'the Twin.' Having the day of Thomas at this time makes sense in two different ways. First, Christmas is, essentially, a solstice holiday. The date having been chosen as the feast of Sol Invictus, 'The Invincible Sun.' So named for the Sun's triumph over the darkness. As Thomas is the Twin of the Lord, his day occurs on the actual solstice, just as our Lord's birthday occurs on the date upon which the solstice was anciently celebrated. There is also a contrast in this, as “the day of” indicates the day that someone died. So, the death of Thomas and the birth of our Lord are also juxtaposed, like the death of the old year/sun and the birth of the new year/sun. Thomas is the twin, the mirror image, after all.
The other way in which celebrating Thomas today is deeply appropriate, is the story that comes to us from the Acts of Thomas. Thomas is imprisoned before his execution, the other inmates entreat him to teach them, so he tells them the story of the Pearl and the Robe of Glory. The beautiful story of our journey: from our true home into the world, through forgetfulness to anamnesis—in order to obtain the Pearl and return. In the darkness of the world, be it in the darkest prison, or the longest night, the light shines forth.
In the story, when the hero is lost in forgetfulness, a letter is sent that is also an eagle. When the letter/eagle arrives, the hero knows the words of the letter to be true, because they are also written in his heart—Gnosis Kardias.
Let us reflect upon the Holy Thomas, who through his Gnosis came to be called the Twin of the Lord. For this is the deepest truth and highest mystery—we are all such twins in our truest nature, and through living the path of Gnosis we may become so, bit by bit, in our lives as well.
Readings of the day.
The Hymn of the Pearl.
The Gospel of Thomas.
Thursday, December 22, 2005
The Messenger of Divine Healing
The Holy Raphael
'God has healed'
ArchangelSo Raphael was sent to heal both of them: Tobit, by removing the film from his eyes that he might see God's light; and Sarah by giving her in marriage to Tobias, and by setting her free from the wicked demon Asmodeus.The account of the Archangel Raphael is found in the Book of Tobit, which is numbered among the books of the Bible by some and among the Apocrypha by others. Two things from Tobit come to mind, one absurd, the other profound.
The absurd aspect is found in the Medieval “Tobias nights” a sure priestly revenue stream. Based on the account of Tobias remaining chaste for three nights after his marriage (part of surviving his demon possessed wife), this was presented as a holy obligation of newly married couples. Unless, of course, you paid a 'slight' fee to a priest to be released from it. (Where are fund-raisers like that when you need them?)
In the sixth chapter of Tobit, we find the young man (Tobias), the angel (Raphael), and a dog journeying together. This in itself is a wonderful image of our multifaceted selves. The angel is an aspect of our highest self, mysterious, seemingly remote, and in touch with an even greater mystery. The young man is our everyday self, our ego and persona complexes, forever unsure and with something to prove. The dog is our physical nature, the evolved part of ourselves, in closest touch with our instincts and needs.
In the story, the young man is soaking his feet in a river, when, suddenly, a great fish comes up from the deep to swallow his foot. This is such an apt metaphor for what happens to us too often: on our journey we relax our consciousness a bit, and a complex comes up out of our unconscious to swallow us—to take over our ego and send us reeling. The angel comes to the aid of the young man, telling him to catch the fish. That is to say, to become conscious of the complex.
When this is done, the angel tells him to gut the fish and to keep the heart, the gall, and the liver as these can be used in healing, but to dispose of the other entrails. This is the most important part, for if the complex were merely thrown back into the unconscious, it would return again and again. One must bring it to consciousness, and go through the difficult, and often very disagreeable, process of analysis to remove and retain the vitality at the heart of the complex. The young man eats of these parts of the fish, reintegrating that vitality back into his life. In doing that, his part of that particular work is completed, he has been healed.
However, the angel further instructs him to take of the heart and liver and burn them to smoke where there is someone possessed, and that this will heal the possession. And to take the gall and anoint those whose eyes are covered with a film and they will see. It is by doing our own psychological and spiritual work that we may have something of value to aid others going through similar work. We can transform our own internal demons into balms for the aid of others oppressed by their own. It is important to remember, and the wise never forget, that as we cannot do someone else's work, we cannot push healing upon someone else—and we can only aid insofar as we ourselves are truly healed. “Physician, heal thyself,” and “remove the beam from thine own eye,” for it is such a healing that benefits the world.
May we be open to the Messenger of Divine Healing, to the healing power that transcends and pervades all things. And, in some small way, follow his example in our own lives.
Readings for the day.
Wikipedia Entry.
The Book of Tobit at CCEL.
Saturday, December 24, 2005
The Nativity: The Coming of the Divine Light
Incarnation of the Redeemer
Behold, this day is born unto you ... a Savior who is Christ the Lord.-Luke
Many are the wonders of Thy nativity, O Jesus; yet when we say “Thy nativity,” who could have created Thee, O Lord Jesus, Thou who are eternally life from life?-ManiDid a redeemer incarnate in Palestine two-thousand years ago? The only way to know, is if that redeemer incarnates within you. The fantasy writer Peter S. Beagle wrote in an introduction of feeling like a secret agent, but one who doesn't know what his mission is, or even if he has one. This resonated deeply within me then, and does still—except that I now know that I have a mission. The Gnostic can say with The Blues Brothers
, “We're on a mission from Gaahd.”
Gnosticism holds the view that the ultimate unknowable God doesn't hold the puppet strings to every molecule in the world. There are other forces at work in the kosmos, we call them Archons, or the powers. Murphy's Law has always been understood by Gnostics. In this world bad things just happen, God doesn't necessarily have anything whatever to do with any of it. So, if God isn't hurting us “for our own good” then how is God acting through the world to directly help us? Well, you didn't think the “do-it-yourself” of Gnosticism ended with attaining Gnosis, did you?
We are the secret agents of God. We must live out the Love of God in the world. Our mission, should we choose to accept it, is to act in those very small, very real, ways that incarnate the Love and Light of God into the world. There is a divine spark, a seed of light, within every one of us—yet so often it isn't apparent. The idea of it, and the fact of it, are equally unimportant if left in that abstract realm. That is information, not Gnosis. The indwelling Christ is a reality, yet if we never incarnate Christ into our lives, that reality neither effects us, nor the world.
There are many Gnostic takes on Christ. In one of them, Christ is seen as a higher being who comes into Jesus at his baptism, that is to say, Jesus incarnated Christ in his life. This points to a truth that we in our small way can try to emulate: in a gesture, in a word, in a touch, in a thought, in our hearts, we can provide a place for the Divine to live in the world. We can incarnate the Redeemer in very real, though little, ways within our lives, both for our own sakes, and for the sake of all the Children of the Light. For as the Lord said, “Where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I.”
Saturday, December 31, 2005
New Year's Day
The Renewal of Life
Behold, I make all things new.
The liturgical year begins on the first Sunday in Advent, beginning the sacred year anew. However, in our culture this is the day of the New Year. A somewhat arbitrary point, originally associated with the Winter solstice, on which we start the calendar year over—the wheel turns anew.
We normally live in a very linear view of time, ever focused on the future and tied to the past, rarely does the present get its due. Sacred time is seen as cyclical, the ever returning, and in a way essentially never changing. Of course, we live with both concepts, and it is on this day that the two mesh. The turning of the year to go through the cycle of months again, and the newness of a new cycle.
If we live within the bounds of linear time, the weight of it can grow very heavy indeed. What a marathon life is! Hadn't we ought to have accomplished so much more by now? How much life is over, how much life is left? It is into this state that the eternal strikes. The transcendent cuts through time like Alexander's sword slicing through the Gordian knot we are hopelessly tied up in. And we know that we have always and will always extend beyond it's bounds. The touch of the Divine renews us, it frees us from the confining horizons we live within. It makes all things new.
The path of Gnosis is a long one, a linear path, and a cycle of cycles. It leads to and revolves around a mystery, a mystery beyond understanding, that transcends the cosmos, yet is found within you. It is the Gnosis of this that renews us, the little epiphanies that give us light and renewed strength for the journey.
Readings for the day.
Sunday, January 08, 2006
The Epiphany
Divine Guidance
Therefore he who is Gnostic is truly a being from above. When he is called he hears; he answers; he directs himself to Him who calls him and returns to Him; he apprehends how he is called.There are many who would force us where they will, and many forces within us that drive us through desires and delusions. Yet, in the midst of the screaming chaos of orders and desires—there is something that would guide us.
A human guide to the deeper side of life is something rare in this world, and often mistaken. But a spiritual guide is not much different from any other guide through the wilderness. One who can truly guide, doesn't offer to go on the journey for you, doesn't promise an easy journey on a difficult trail, and listens more closely to the one's being guided than they do to the guide. It should also go without saying that they don't lead you off and rob you.
A human spiritual guide is at best a more seasoned traveler, more experienced, but just as human, and just as fallible. Even the most sincere and seasoned guide is subject to the vicissitudes of their own life, and to the same pitfalls on the path that everyone is. A guide is also just that, one who gives guidance. They do not try to take over your journey from you, or make themselves indispensable to it. As much as human guides may aid us at times, particularly through the more dangerous parts of the journey, they are not something we can have faith in.
We live in the realm of limitations: limited time, limited resources, limited by biography and geography, and countless other ways. Each of us are also limited in what we are ready to understand, and in what we are ready to become conscious of. Even the Lord was limited in what he could impart to the Disciples, with only a few actually following him in the true inner sense.
The only guide that we can have faith in is the Divine. This does not mean we need eschew human guides, but we must be always open to the true guide. The Divine leads us to human teachers and guides as part of a larger pattern we cannot yet see. Not usually for the lesson or direction we would choose—for if we would choose them unerringly, we wouldn't need the guidance. Remembering that the human guide is not the true guide—we must be open to be lead further on.
The two stories that are associated with this day reflect this. The wise men being guided by a star to the place of the Divine Babe. The wise men follow the star, which has been given to guide them, but they stop to ask directions of the worldly authority anyway: with terrible results. Herod is not a guide, he is a teacher who's lesson is that unrefined power is jealous and brutal.
In the other story, Jesus travels to the Prophet John to be baptized. In one Gnostic account, it is at the baptism that “Christ” as a higher being descended upon “Jesus” the human. However the story is told, something deeply important happened, this is symbolized by the dove descending, and the words of Divine approval. John acted as a guide, and as the conveyor of a sacrament. The role of John as an initiator of Jesus is remembered to this day, and is something of a theological pickle for many. In the Gnostic perspective it makes perfect sense. We recognize the seed of light, the divine spark, in everyone—yet it is just that, a seed, a spark. It is a long transformative journey before any of that light can shine into our lives, before the ever-present divine within is more than merely an idea.
If even our Lord benefited from wise guidance, how much more can we? The guidance we must ultimately follow is not that of any human, yet the divine guide may take us to many human guides, and many teachers of lessons positive and negative. Don't trust anyone who claims to speak for God, yet how else would God speak in words? Maybe God is speaking to us constantly, through the mouths of others, but we do not hear it. We are constantly being guided from within and without, called to follow the real and difficult path that is ours alone—though we are never alone on it. And while the path, the guide, and the traveler may all be one, it is only an idea until the journey has finished.
Readings for the day
Friday, January 13, 2006
Desire for Liberation
The Second Sunday After Epiphany
Jesus said: Do not lie; and do not do what you hate, for all things are manifest before Heaven. For there is nothing hidden that shall not be revealed and there is nothing covered that shall remain without being uncovered.- ThomasThere are many desires we can have, most of them arise in us unseen, unknown, unconscious. They are, perhaps, the most dangerous forces within us. To have a desire is to believe it can be satisfied. But there is always an end to satisfactions, and never an end to desires. Getting, or seeming to get, what we desire is the biggest trap on the path to liberation. We are all susceptible to the monkey trap: the piece of fruit we reach into the jar to grasp, and will not let go of—even though we cannot remove our hand if we don't. And we yearn for the comfort of the trap: of seeming to have what we think we want and not having to seek further, though all it will ever give us is bondage.
We all know people who have struggled to free themselves from one form of bondage or another, an abusive relationship say, only to return to it or to something just like it. Look around you and see souls trapped in patterns that will be repeated, in chains they will re-forge if broken, until death or until the work of bringing them to consciousness is done.
It seems like an easy choice, consciousness or slavery to unconscious patterns and desires. And it is an easy choice, but the easy choice is slavery. What is unconscious is unconscious for a reason and it will not come easily into the light. There will be anguish and anxiety to deal with before consciousness can be fully brought to bear. And it is the taste of this that usually drives it all back into the unconscious—to be repeated.
The far more difficult choice seems to be to face the harsh glare of consciousness shining on the problem that has been left to grow in the dark, and that we have invested much time, energy, and identity in keeping that way. Yet the light only seems harsh because we have spent so much of our time in the darkness, and are only now coming out into the daylight. And it is only difficult and painful because of the number of times we have chosen to remain in the darkness, chosen the trap.
Sure, we can all see it in the big negative patterns: in addiction, abuse, and the like; but what of the small things? What about something as simple as desiring attention, or to be appreciated? Or the desire for love? The nature and scope of the desire may effect the nature and scope of the trap, but never whether there is one—there always is one. An unconscious desire for attention can wrap a person's entire life around it and be just as unfulfillable as an unconscious desire to find wholeness in the arms of another. The only hope of freeing ourselves from the slavery this choir of desires leads us continually into is consciousness. For in consciousness there is the only desire that will satisfy itself—the desire for liberation.
People often think that they desire liberation, but it is not often the case that they do. Those who shout for liberty and freedom in the world are most often the ones working hardest to curtail them. So that, “freedom” usually means “my own brand of dictatorship,” or, “to remake the world in my own image;” or perhaps, the freedom to sink back into old patterns and habits—into unconsciousness.
True liberation can only come from the light of consciousness revealing all that is hidden, uncovering all that is covered—bringing the truth which sets free. Even the most lavish of cells, the most gilded of cages, cannot change it's essential nature; and we can only remain inside if we keep that nature from consciousness. The desires that arise from the unconscious, all direct us towards one seemingly wonderful cage or another. Only the desire of consciousness directs us beyond the bounds of any cage, of any container.
When the Lord was asked to give rules of behavior, he said only, “Do not lie; and do not do what you hate.” The reason given is that all is known to the divine, and all shall be revealed and uncovered. This should not be viewed in the common sense as some kind of shame being poured upon those whose faults are revealed. Rather, it is simply stating the fact that we may play tricks of mind upon ourselves, and continue splits of consciousness that helped us survive earlier crises—but we are only fooling ourselves, in the smallest sense of the word.
The most effective way to lie is to believe the lie yourself, in effect lying to yourself. And what is “doing what you hate,” except a form of lying by act and deed? We might rephrase it as, 'don't try to fool yourself, and don't try to fool others—for, ultimately, no one is fooled.' How sad it would be to live out your life only to find out that it had been so much taken up with efforts to fool yourself and others—only to still be faced with the truth.
To free ourselves from a destiny of such small tragedy we must refine our consciousness, and refuse any cage not matter how much we may desire it: seeking our true freedom in an earnest desire for liberation. For it is the only desire that leads us to the only end of desires—the glory of the fullness. It is always the most difficult path, for it is the only real path that leads to the only true destination.
Readings for the day
Saturday, January 21, 2006
Sincerity
The Third Sunday After Epiphany
O Indwelling Lord, who art ever opposed to injustice and hypocrisy, we pray that we may be just and true of heart in all our dealings with our brethren, that we may recognize within them Thy indwelling presence and holy light.- Collect of the DayDo not add day to day or cycle to cycle, hoping to come to receive the mysteries when we come to the world in another cycle.- The Book of SophiaFor they have the value in the eyes of their Father.- Gospel of Philip
Sincerity is an alignment of the inner to the outer, of ideals and actions, of expectations for oneself and others. This can be of a trivial or ridiculous degree, there are plenty of sincere fools and sincere criminals of all types—some of us vote for them, for example.We normally think of sincerity as having the outer conform to the inner, but this is not always the case. My father had the disturbing ability not only to believe anything he said, but to sincerely argue that it was true in the face of any inconvenient facts. And, it has been my misfortune to be associated with others who fall into that pattern, even within our small parish. Though this seems an untenable lifestyle, psychological research shows us that the best way to tell a lie and be believed, is if you believe it yourself. So, if there is a way to hide or distract from the actual situation, this ability is actually adaptive in an evolutionary sense, though hell on everyone involved.
Clearly, being sincerely delusional is not the type of sincerity we are espousing. The highly changeable person can only be sincere for a moment at most, as the next moment they may be sincere in a contradictory way. The only way this can happen is if the personality is highly compartmentalized, so that it really is a different unconscious complex that is sincere in a contradictory manner and is unaware of the contradiction. The sincerity that is our focus for today, is both a deep and a life-long sincerity, and as such must be a conscious one.
Honesty isn't at its best as a result of a “Thou Shalt,” but rather as a means of psychological and spiritual integrity. So often we feel pressures to act in a way that is not in accord with our inner selves. In situations were others have power real or imagined, the desire to be liked, to not hurt, or to avoid conflict, leads us to be insincere in an instance. The problem is that this drives a wedge between inner and outer that leads to giving up further autonomy in the situation. It's a slippery slope, and before you know it you are faced with the difficult choice of becoming conscious of your own lack of integrity, or, keeping it out of consciousness by warping yourself around it further.
Where sincerity isn't held onto strongly, the truth has fled behind veils and curtains—it is all a game of smoke and mirrors, a matter of appearances divorced from reality. There is no way to fool yourself or others into liberation, it takes hard work, and the real situation is the material that the work uses.
Often in religious situations, people feel a lot of pressure to conform to ideals of how they 'should' be. It is common in the Mormon culture I live in to deny grief at funerals, people have been told that they should act happy for those who have departed as a sign of their faith. In a funeral talk, I pointed out that there was joy and it was real, and it would still be there after the grief that is also real has passed.
Another, is when people expect themselves or are expected to always act 'nice,' in a Ned Flanders (of The Simpsons) way. This is living in fantasy (or cartoon) land. Someone who can't show an unruly guest the door, is someone who won't have a door for long. If a parish or other group warps itself around the idea that it has to be nice and play by the rules with those who do neither, it will not exist to serve those who aren't there to merely take advantage of such credulity. If you want to accomplish anything, you can't be everyone's friend, and if you are everyone's friend, chances are you don't do much.
The only true guide in making such painful and difficult decisions is Sincerity. No, not in the sense of you sincerely want to not have to deal with them anymore—but rather if it is a choice between dealing with them and remaining sincere; of keeping the relationship or your integrity. Unless you choose the latter, obviously, you are not choosing liberation.
The only way to be sincerely on a spiritual path is to be sincere about where you are and how you are at any given moment, both with yourself and with others who are also sincerely on the path. It is not an exhibition, nor a competition, it is the most real and most important work you can do. The path will take you through many situations, including those where the path seems to disappear. Others have walked the path, and others are walking it now. There is wisdom that can be shared among travelers, but only if you sincerely share. Everyone is welcome to join us on the journey, but they must do the walking themselves. To be sincerely on the path one must walk it, do the work, be on the journey; the alignment between goal and life now, not "tomorrow."
Those who have their sincerity and integrity have themselves, and so do not need to seek their value elsewhere. As the Gospel for the day says, dropping a pearl in the mud doesn't devalue it, nor does oiling it increase its value. Anyone who wants to play 'holier than thou' has already lost, because they are looking to you for their value. For as the Gospel of Thomas reminds us, “When you make the the inner as the outer, and the outer as the inner... then shall you enter the kingdom.” That is the ultimate sincerity to which we aspire—the sincerity and integrity that includes our truest selves: the divine spark, the seed of light. The living Gnosis of the Truth that sets free.
Sunday, January 29, 2006
The Overcoming of Sorrow
The Fourth Sunday after Epiphany
There is nothing at all that is free from suffering that will rest in the end; even the very seed that is sown finds no way to live unless it dies, but through its death it lives and gives life also.-ManiAnd Jesus said: Ye shall be sorrowful, but your sorrow shall be turned into joy.-JohnThe term “Nostalgia” originated as a medical diagnosis before the turn of the Nineteenth Century. One estimate attributed twenty percent of the French army's casualties during years at the end of the Eighteenth Century to nostalgia. These soldiers were taken far from the only places that they knew, from the small domain they traveled in, and marched to distant lands. They were disconnected completely and suffered a great deal of stress from that, as well as, the stresses of military service. A twenty percent casualty figure is an enormous loss. A disease is an epidemic before it effects ten percent.
We could attribute this to a quirk of the past, except we live inundated by nostalgia, governed by nostalgia, suffering from nostalgia. In our modern world most of us have the opposite problem of Eighteenth Century French soldiers, we don't suffer from being disconnected from a particular place, and community, we suffer from never being connected in that way to begin with. Our disconnect cannot be solved by a simply moving from our current place to a prior one. We can't go home again to the way it was, and be the way we were.
Yet, people will always try. In politics there is always one party who's primary focus is on nostalgia, on promising a return to the golden age. Usually contrasted by another who seeks to go forward to the same. In myths the world over there are stories of how this is a fallen time or place, a degenerated era. That something happened to cause the disconnect from a higher/better state, causing us to find ourselves suffering from a larger nostalgia.
Even if we do not long for an aspect of the past, it can still tie us. Someone once said that forgiveness is no longer hoping for a better past. Often it is our wounds and scars that we are bound to, and they are more difficult to escape, because we identify with them, and escaping ourselves cannot be done. It is in these cases that we must heal to forgive, and then forgive to heal.
The past can also tie us with regrets, both of what has been, and also of what could have been. These can be tougher bonds even than wounds. Every significant choice is a limiting. It means that forevermore only one of the choices will be. Often it is the wrong choice, and it is hard to see that often they are all wrong choices to varying degrees. The world is a constant procrustean bed, only rarely do a few in power make themselves the measure for the world for a time, almost always the world measures us—limits us.
I read “choose your own adventure” books as a kid. You had to choose, but you could always go back and see what 'happened' when you chose another way. Video games have a similar non-linear element, you can go back and explore a different outcome: to fix a mistake, or just to see what happens differently. Fortunately, we cannot do that in life, for who would ever move forward? There would be no life as such, just endless testing of possible permutations. The path of life is direct, it is one of limitations not 'endless possibilities.' Limitations come with sorrow, for they come with loss. The potential is lost, if nothing else, and often there is much else.
The necessity of limitations doesn't eliminate sorrow. They are aspects of one another. There will always be sorrow, but it must not overwhelm us. To overcome it, we must accept it, we must grieve for what is lost. Nostalgia is a failure to grieve, a failure to accept the loss and the sorrow, a seeking to return to a time before the loss, before the limitation was imposed. And so it is an illness, one that can make us ill long after all the other effects of the limitation have faded into memory.
We can try to hold onto the past, but in doing so it is we who are held. Not able to accept the loss and grieve, and unable to journey to the past: one becomes paralyzed with nostalgia. Accepting that loss is the more painful way at first, just as healing and forgiveness are. No longer hoping for a better past, or a future past, means feeling the sorrow that is a part of life—but it also means overcoming it to be able to live that life.
As Gnostics, we seek a return to what is called the 'fullness,' or the kingdom of Light, or our true home. Yet what we seek is not a return to the past state of wholeness, but a return that is something new—a transformation beyond understanding. We have a sense of loss simply being in the cosmos, this can become nostalgic and we can seek to return to a primordial state, or it can be simply the realization, the Gnosis, of our true selves—that we are on a path of transformation, of liberation, that will take us to the only state where sorrow truly ends.
Tuesday, January 31, 2006
Kindling a Light in the Darkness
Candlemas
Prepare ye the way of the Lord, make straight in the desert a highway for our God.-Isaiah
Within a man of light there is light and he lights the whole world. When he does not shine, there is darkness.- ThomasOften, too often, we resist the bringing of the light of consciousness into a neglected area. Depth psychology shows us that we all have unlit parts of ourselves, a personal unconscious content—things put so far back on the back burner that they have been forgotten, or never known. It is human nature to not simply neglect these areas, but to actively neglect them.
In neuro-psychology there is a class of disorders called “neglect.” They are the result of strokes or other forms of injury to particular areas of the brain. The result is a magnification of the “blind spot” phenomena. The blind spot is an area in your field of vision that you aren't actually getting any visual data about from moment to moment. The process of “seeing” is one in which the field of vision is constructed and the blind spot, apparently, eliminated. If we merely didn't see an area in our field of vision and didn't care, it would be neglect in the ordinary sense. However, the process of making the blind spot disappear to the point of being absurd to consider it existing—is neglect in the neurological or active sense.
In cases of neglect, not just a small spot, but an entire side of the visual field can be missing and filled in so that it seems like nothing is missing. In one case, the left side of the world faded entirely from consciousness: only food on the right side of the plate would be eaten, people approaching from the left were seen to suddenly appear, even the left side of the mirror image was lost, unnoticed to consciousness. Yet in every other respect, the left side was sensed, involuntary responses could be triggered from the left side as easily as from the right. All the while the individual would argue that there was some cause that they were consciously aware of, rather than a cause in the neglected area that they weren't aware of.
This is the way our mind-body works in something so seemingly ordinary as “seeing” and constructing our sensory world. If there can literally be a rhinoceros about to charge someone from the left side, while they are be giving a detailed analysis of why their anxiety is caused by the current economic situation—what does that say about neglect and unconsciousness in the everyday psychological realm?
To bring the light of consciousness into a new area of ourselves is most often experienced as being painful: there is both stress and anxiety, because what is unconscious has been invested with more importance and made to seem a bigger vulnerability than it is. When it is actually the tension of keeping something unconscious, of the active neglect, that is the cause of the anxiety and stress: the suffering was there, it's just that it wasn't conscious—it seemed to be a part of the situation, not a part of us. Bringing something to consciousness makes it a part of us, and both the suffering of keeping it unconscious, and the original suffering that made it unconscious are brought to awareness for the first time. The light does not inflict the suffering, it reveals it, and in time heals it.
In the Gospel of Thomas, Jesus says that there is light in the person of light, and it lights up the whole world; if it does not shine, the world is in darkness. The darkness isn't important, the light is. Consciousness is very precious, true light is very rare. We are the stewards of a seed of light, and of the field in which it can grow; we are also both. It is in the dark earth the seed grows, and it is in our own dark and neglected places that the seed of light grows. Focus on the light, not the darkness. Kindle the light in every dark place within yourself, that it might shine out and into the world.
Life has often been compared to a candle: it burns for a limited time, and is extinguished or burns away. The world may focus on the candle, let us focus on the light. Others may focus on what is in the darkness, let us focus on the transformation that light can bring.
The light of consciousness is not the only light, but it is the light that is ours to kindle and shine, in the darkness which is ours to shine it in. This is where the real process begins, though we cannot know now where it may ultimately lead.
